By Jodie Peter
Adam Lyons was given a book to read by Neil Strauss called ‘The Game’. This book changed his whole life. It was analytical by breaking down situations.
“I felt I could do this, it intrigued me. Dating is a game in the beginning and that’s what we teach men – how to be a better man, how to listen better, how to come across better. A lot of men don’t know how to speak or approach women. They say the wrong thing,” Adam says. “ A man might go up to a woman and say do you want to eat at a certain type of restaurant but what if that women doesn’t like that type of food. She might think you’re weird. Or asking to go to movies for a first date. A first date should be coffee, talking, getting to know each other. Casual and chilled.”
This is what Adam teaches at his boot camps where he explains attraction, body language and literally how to speak to women. A lot of men think this PUA thing is magic and a guarantee way to get a number but he explains it’s more about feeling comfortable in your own skin and just speaking to women is positive. How to carry yourself and why it’s not all about looks. “95 % Of women don’t go for looks. They go for someone who can make them laugh; they feel safe with, a sense of humour, personality. Nobody is looking for a celebrity lookalike. Obviously a man must look after himself and look good. There’s a difference between good looking and looking good. Good looking people are blessed with good features. But anyone can look good and groomed.”
So it’s not about looks even when a woman says you’re not my type?
“Women that say that are hiding behind another thought. The guy did something to annoy her, piss her off or bore her. If a woman ever says you’re not my type you should know you’re not interesting her, it’s not about your looks. It’s not about looks it’s about acceptance”
At boot camp and ‘attraction explained’, Adam teaches men to be honest, “We teach men to say I’m not looking for a relationship I’m enjoying life or to say yes I am looking for a relationship.” Adam also teaches things like body Language and how it is a hundred percent accurate. Every person should know how to present themselves. “Never give yourself away by coming across too keen. Staring, looking constantly gives yourself away especially if you’re not going to approach the woman.”
Most men do the game to find a girlfriend. And surprisingly women can do the game too. (What’s good for the goose is good for the gander). It’s the same rules and dynamics. A subtle interest not too eager and it’s all about the chase. Surprisingly men won’t come to the boot camp if women are there too…so there is a lack of women compare to men. It’s the basic laws of attraction which Adam explains, “The game or attraction is like a casino, its exactly the same dynamics, you go to casino to win but you keep on losing, you become addicted to the chase, you become engrosses, you fall in love, attraction is a magnet drawing people together.” Attraction can be compared to a magnetic force that two things are drawn to each other or sometimes you have to put effort to magnetise that person. Adam says they don’t call one night stands that they call it same night lay and they don’t promote it. He suggests rather having a fling of fun and being honest. Adam teaches sex techniques along with speaking, approaching and listening. In a nut shell (excuse the pun) Adam teaches how to be a better man, lover, and person and to be more confident. It’s all about putting yourself across the best way possible.
Rapport is a technique used by people create a connection and comfort ability or you can turn it around and pick on someone. Men are taught to look for rapport to make the woman feel relaxed or to playfully tease her which still creates comfortabilty.
Adam recollects the three biggest fails a man (and women can do too )
- Trying to show off
- Don’t stare and do nothing. (creepy) rather stare and do something
- Asking too many questions (amen)
Basically, try to have a good conversation but not too long and pointless. The game is only used to meet women afterwards a normal relationship will either form or not and if you break up well that’s life.
It’s a great way for men (nerds especially) to know how to talk to a women. Just the other night a guy at a club approached me, he babbled on for long about trivial rubbish, he didn’t offer to buy me a drink and on top of that he didn’t understand what personal space was. I wasn’t interested and what a pity because he was good looking but had no charm or conversational skill, he totally bored me. I’ve been on too many dates where the guys have been nervous, too keen and downright boring.
I ask Adam if there is one thing he would like others to know, “Don’t judge something before you get to know it. Once you’ve experienced the PUA training then judge for yourself.” PUS’s like Adam and Neil are doing women a favour by cleaning up men’s acts, communication skills and giving them advice and tips that makes dating enjoyable to the max. Adam should pay S.A a homely visit; our men need a lesson or three.
A bit for the Ladies
Women: What you should know
- Anyone can come across as just sex and fun or wife material. How you carry and present yourself is the deciding factor.
- “Dying alone is a fear. No one wants to be alone. That is the number one reason why men take my boot camp” Adam says
- Rather be honest if you want a relationship or just a fling too